9/16/11

Not for the Rack: Boxy Tops

This is probably going to be one of those blogs, Fashionable Reader, that is part of a longer running series. A What Not To Wear style presentation of things vintage, retro, and modern that really do nothing helpful for those of use generously endowed on the top. Or, to put it more crudely my darlings, here is the beginning of Gail's seemingly never-ending list of what is . . .

Bad for Big Boobs


Here's the thing ~ I tend to try to Post the Positive. That is ~ not use any of my blogs as bandstands for complaining (with the exception of the recent bra and tote posts ~ sorry about that). I like the idea of leading by example, presenting for my Fashionable Readers images of inspiration ~ those who are doing it right. But sometimes the fashion world gets to me ~ a world dominated by the androgynous and the slender, the skinny and the flat-chested, the long, the lean, and the tall.

I am none of these things, and so much of what is designed for the runway doesn't suit me as a result.


And that is the key~ no matter how much money one drops, how expensive the designer label, if one is curvy like Christina Hendrix or Kim Kardashian and does not want to look cheap, one must think about properly addressing one's Rack.


I'm not saying one has to hide it, or be ashamed, or think of one's decolletage as some monster to be controlled. I'm simply saying that one should take the boobage into consideration when dressing and here is a trend to avoid . . . and why.

The Number One Offender is
Boxy Tops 

Now class, please repeat after me: Boxy tops are for boyish figures.

I chose boxy tops as my number one offender because this style stretches from the Channel suits of the late 1950s and 1960s to the t-shirts of today and beyond. The boxy top's number one flaw is that because it has no tailoring in under the Rack, one looks as wide as one's boobs are, for the fabric drops down from the widest point. There is not other way to put this ladies but to say it plain and simple: boxy tops make a curvy girl look fat. Period.


The t-shit above commits the double offense of also having writing (draws attention to the boob area), wide horizontal stripes (80's and widens the torso further), no shaping (boobs will lift the shirt up in font, shifting shoulder seam back, making you have to tug it down all day), and that weird slopey shoulder thing. The suit on the right adds volume because of the bulky tweed fabric as well as being boxy.


Sadly, the boxy top will not die. But no matter where you see or how modern it seems, it it should be avoided like the plague. Yes, I know it has a lovely vintage appeal, please resist.

Norman Norell pantsuit ca. 1972 via The Costume Institute of the Metropolitan Museum of Art; 1963 Marc Bohan for Dior Rome via The Costume Institute of the Metropolitan Museum of Art


Boxy Channel suits of the 1960s.

But never fear, my dears, for New Look is here! Can't hack Channel, that's OK, because Dior came to our rescue in the 1950s. Here's the kind of suit to opt for if you have a Rack.


Why I like them and what to look for:
  •  At least 3 buttons, close together to stop it from gaping. 
  • Nipped in waist and tailored to the torso, to limit added bulk.
  • A thin but stiff fabric with a little stretch to it.
  • Ending at or just below the waist or with a peplum. (Peplums are not for everyone but I love them.) Makes torso look smaller.
  • Relatively deep v collar, with some detail or interest at the top. This draws eye upward to the face and away from the bust.
A quick word about pockets.

Suit, shirt, dress, blouse, or vest ~ it is best to avoid pockets on the boob area. Again, they add both bulk and emphasis, and are useless because if one puts anything in them one looks lopsided. Best avoided.

However cute pockets on the skirt, especially if you are top heavy? Brilliant idea!


As for t-shirts, I tend to avoid them. Too often the fabric is too thin and see-through, or they run far too long below my waist, or they have cap sleeves making my arms look chubby, or slogans over the breast area emphasizing further and encouraging people to stare. I couldn't even find a picture of a good one to recommend to you.

Instead of the t-shirt, I tend to opt for interesting drape jersey shirts, blouses, mock turtles and the like instead. I've had good luck at Marshalls. Here are a few ideas.

But, of course, these are only for bumming about, not really for public appearances.
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